Jaxx: Welcome to Night at the Colosseum, where we bring you the most thrilling and brutal arena showdowns in the Underhive. I’m Jaxx Raine, and with me is Milo Vox, the voice of the vox.
Milo: Thanks, Jaxx. We have a spectacular show for you tonight, folks. Three gangs, six fighters and a bunch of hungry sump monsters. What more could you ask for?
Jaxx: That’s right, Milo. Tonight’s gladiators are from the A.P.A, the Lost Daughters, and the Drake’s Watch. Each gang has two champions, chained together by a 12-foot iron link, and one supporter in the stands, ready to toss them some ammo or medkits. But they better have a good aim, or they might end up helping their enemies instead.
Milo: And let’s not forget the real stars of the show, the sump monsters. These nasty creatures will emerge from the iron grates on the arena floor, whenever a fighter gets too close. They have slimy tentacles that can lash out and knock you down, or worse, drag you into their gaping maws.
Jaxx: The rules are simple: each team scores a point for each successful hit on a sump monster, and two points for taking out a sump monster or one of their rivals. The team with the most points at the end of the match wins. But don’t expect any mercy from the other gangs, or the crowd. This is the Underhive, after all. Survival is the only prize that matters.
Milo: And we’re off! The A.P.A are the first to make a move, heading towards a gun crate near one of the grates. Looks like they’ve picked up a Flamer. That’s a nice weapon for this kind of fight, Jaxx.
Jaxx: Indeed, Milo. But they’ve also attracted the attention of the sump monster. Look at that, four tentacles bursting through the grate, almost knocking the A.P.A boy off his feet. He better watch out, or he’ll be sump food in no time.
Milo: Meanwhile, the Drake’s Watch recruit and the Lost Daughters Juve are also going for some loot crates, hoping to find some goodies. But they’re not alone, either. More sump monsters are coming out of the grates, ready to pounce on them.
Jaxx: Wow, Milo, this is intense. Tentacles everywhere. And now the supporters are joining the fray, throwing some smoke grenades into the arena, giving their fighters some cover from the other gangs and the sump monsters. But that also means they can’t see what’s going on in there.
Milo: That’s true, Jaxx. They’ll have to rely on their instincts and their luck. And speaking of luck, the A.P.A boy has just scored the first point of the match, blasting a sump monster in the face with his shotgun. That’s a nice shot, and a nice start for the A.P.A.
Jaxx: You know, Milo, I used to watch these guys in the arena when I was a kid, sitting on my dad’s lap in the stands. They were always tough and fearless, just like they are now.
Milo: You had a good relationship with your dad as a kid, Jaxx?
Jaxx: Not really, Milo. He was killed in a gang war when I was young, but they sent his severed head back to my mom, who used it as a pillow. Life was hard in the Ash Wastes, Milo.
Milo: I hear you, Jaxx. Life is hard everywhere in the Underhive. But not as hard as these young fighters are getting it right now. Both the Drake’s Watch and the Lost Daughters have been hit by the sump monsters, and they’re down on the ground. They better get up soon, or they’ll be out of the game.
Jaxx: And it looks like the A.P.A have some trouble of their own. The sump monster they just killed has a bigger brother, and he’s not happy. He’s just slammed his tentacle into the A.P.A boy, sending him flying across the arena. Ouch, that’s gotta hurt.
Milo: And it’s not over yet, Jaxx. The Lost Daughter has just found a plasma gun in one of the crates, and she’s aiming it at the A.P.A boy. That’s a powerful weapon, Jaxx. It can melt through anything, even the iron chain that binds them.
Jaxx: But she’s also a small girl, Milo. She might not be able to handle the recoil of that gun. And she’s missed her shot, hitting the wall instead. That’s a waste of ammo, and a waste of time.
Milo: Seeing his fighter in danger, the A.P.A supporter has just thrown another smoke grenade into the arena, creating some more cover for his team. That’s a smart move, Jaxx. It might give them a chance to regroup and recover.
Jaxx: And it looks like the Drake’s Watch have finally taken down a sump monster of their own, with some concentrated fire from their Autopistol and Autoguns. That’s another point for them, and some relief from the tentacles.
Milo: What are the current scores, Jaxx?
Jaxx: The A.P.A and the Drake’s Watch are tied with four points each, and the Lost Daughters have two points. But anything can happen in this match, Milo. It’s not over until it’s over.
Milo: And it might be over soon for the A.P.A, Jaxx. The sump monster they just wounded has come back for revenge, and he’s just smashed his tentacle into the A.P.A boy’s head. He’s out cold, Jaxx. He’s out cold.
Jaxx: And he’s not the only one, Milo. The Drake’s Watch recruit has also been knocked out by a sump monster, leaving only one fighter for each of them. This is getting tense, Milo. This is getting tense.
Milo: And it’s getting worse for the A.P.A, Jaxx. The Lost Daughter support has just harpooned him with her harpoon launcher, pulling him back into the reach of the sump monster. And that’s it, Jaxx. That’s it. The sump monster has finished him off, with a crushing blow to his chest. He’s out, Jaxx. He’s out.
Jaxx: And that’s it for The A.P.A, Milo. They’re out of the match, and out of the running. That’s a shame, Milo. They started so strong, but they couldn’t keep it up. Maybe it was bad luck, or maybe it was bad strategy. But either way, they’re out.
Milo: And now it’s down to the Lost Daughters and the Drake’s Watch, Jaxx. two on one, girls versus boy, plasma gun versus autogun. Who will win, Jaxx? Who will win?
Jaxx: I don’t know, Milo. I don’t know. But I do know that the Drake’s Watch boy is in trouble. He’s been hit by the sump monster, and he’s on the ground. And the Lost Daughters are closing in, with her plasma gun ready to fire. This could be it, Milo. This could be it.
Milo: And it is, Jaxx. It is. The Lost Daughter has just fired her plasma gun, and she’s hit her target. The Drake’s Watch boy is down, Jaxx. He’s down. And he’s not getting up, Jaxx. He’s not getting up.
Jaxx: And that’s it, Milo. That’s it. The Lost Daughters have won the match, and the night. They’ve beaten their rivals, and the sump monsters. They’ve proven themselves to be the best fighters in the Underhive, at least for tonight. And they’re celebrating, Milo. They’re celebrating.
Milo: And they’re not holding back, Jaxx. They’re not holding back. The Lost Daughter has just stomped on the Drake’s Watch boy’s head, with her spiked heels. Wow, Jaxx. Wow. Dead or not, that’s gotta hurt.
Jaxx: And that’s all for tonight, folks. Thanks for joining us for Night at the Colosseum, where we bring you the most thrilling and brutal arena showdowns in the Underhive. I’m Jaxx Raine, and this is Milo Vox, signing off. See you next time, scummers. See you next time.
